Okay, so lets be honest here. I have sucked at doing this like I said that I was going to. I mean really, great plans Mandy, but part of my problem with food and everything else is follow through.
SO.
Lets be honest.
I just ate a big mac for lunch. BUT I also tracked it in my WW, and am within my points for the week. Yup, I'm trying to do WW. But I'm finding myself still eating stupid crap.
I need replacement food. I want crab rangoons I eat.......?! Ideas here? Because thats where I was last Friday.
So WHAT is it that I'm doing wrong. I don't want to be this FAT. But I really seem to be a quitter. I dont want to be a quitter. I don't want my kids to be quitters. So I need to stop being a quitter.
Okay, self pep talk over.
No more fat talk. No more thinking of this as fat. No more WINNING (ahhh sorry Charlie Sheen......). I need to suceed. If nothing else then to show you guys that I can do it, just as much to show myself.
I'm going to interview a therapist tomorrow. I'm wondering how that will go. And I'm hoping that talking about some of this stuff will also help with the food issues. I need some help with compulsive eating. The more that I think about this now, the more I realized my problems with food in THIS manner started after Arianna was born. I mean, I had problems before that- or what appeared to be problems? Because I basically wasnt hungry. I'm sure that it was some of the meds that I was on- but I wouldnt eat much during the day, because I wans not hungry, and then I would eat at night. I hope that she can give me some help, some guidelines. I feel like I missed out on a lot of growing up and learning skills etc. and I feel nuts for saying this, but at 27 I need to go back and learn how to deal with some things that I should have known how to deal with all along.
I'm so lucky that I have you guys. You all love me and support me and listen to me act like a nut job, but it doesnt change the support you give :)
TOMORROW MORNING- BREAKFAST PICTURE, and a picture of whatever it is that I end up eating tonight.... dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
You're funny, nut job :)
ReplyDeleteWhen you want crab ragoons, have a handful of saltines and Laughing Cow lite swiss with smoked salmon! YUM!!
Good writing! I really enjoyed this. I was thinking a baked wonton or some sort of thin cracker with low-fat cream cheese as a substitute.
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