Dreams

Its strange. I have never felt too much of a calling to one thing in particular. I mean, I think that we all have dreams of where it is that our life is going. We have plans, we know what it is that we want. I don't know how much I have felt "CALLED" to something wanted it, felt like I could see it all working out. I feel like I'm at this point where I can see where I want it to be going- I can feel it YELLING my name.

Its too bad that we have to keep waiting. But I feel like I have a goal.
1. Pay off the debt. Whatever it takes. Pay it off.
2. Save some money. Clearly these are the goals of most people but.... save some money.
3. I have never wanted to make Arianna change schools once she starts, but this may be something that does that- I want to move to a small town. someplace not here. I guess it could be here. But I'm feeling like its not. We need someplace simpler, for us. BUT if it is here, I can deal with that.
4. I want nate to have his own shop. And This may need to be something that he runs on his own for a year or two. BUT THEN..........
5.  I want to quit my job. I want to work the front of his shop. I want to put my kids on the bus, and I want to meet them when they get home. I want to be be able to be with my husband, and run a buisness together. I want to buy a house for us and our kids. I want land where they can play.

I can see this happening. I feel like its supposed to happen. We have stumbled aournd without a clear direction for years "I want to buy a house some day" "I want to do this some day" but I don't think that we knew how it was that we wanted to get there. I feel like this is how we get there, and my heart is yearning for it.

I don't know if its God thats putting that message there, or if its a result of growing up- that I my vision of where it is that I want to go is becoming clear. I don't want to take credit for something that is not all me. Often, Nate and I have varying views on things and it can create a lot of tension. I am on a path to figure out more of who I am and where it is that I am going in life, and I am happy to say that we are both experiencing the same sort of calling- or we are at least both on the same page with this. Having dreams that drive you.

I have tried to make some changes this week. I have tried hard to not get ahead of myself, to take the time to stop and breathe, to think about what it is that I'm worrying about, and to let go of some obsessions. I'm on a path.