Weigh it.........

Sooooooooooo I'm still not making the best choices. But not being at work is helping clEarly...... I weighed 201.6 this morning!

Next..........

My biggest stresses?
Money, and finding a balance between everythig. I feel like
I am always a few steps behind with the money thing- just never quite there. And I get caught up, and when I get caught up I 1. Eat, and 2. Will sneak a cigarette from someone I work with. Neither one of there is something that I should do...... I also feel like should is a strong word. Should do shouldn't do blah blah blah.......

I thought a bunch about something danille said- not letting failing be an excuse for quitting. And Thats a big thing for me too. "ah I can't do this I ate (something horrible) blah balh blah why do I bother?!" OR I get mad- "WHY can't I just eat what I want!!"

So since I'm home this week, I can't seem to load pictures from my phone- lame.

Just a warning.


Ok I'm hungry, and need to ding breakfast. A scrambled egg maybe? I need to hit the grocery store- it's going to be a long day with errands and cleaning.


Thank ALL of you for your support. I love you -and need you- all!!!!

It begins....

I mean, I have to be honest here.

I'm basically sick of myself. Not MYSELF that is, but how I look, and how I am taking care of myself (or not). I mean, I normally go through the motions.

Frozen diet lunch blah blah blah. But lets talk about the amount of butter I put on my breakfast,and I'm lucky if I'm breaking even.

I'm 27. Lets think that I'm lucky, and I live till 80 with my kiddos. That's 53 years of looking like this.

I've already spent 5. And I don't want to spend 5 more. Honestly though, I have these ahHA moments every few months. But the weight never disapears, and here I continue to sit. TALK TALK TALK.

Enough talk. WHY IS IT SO HARD to love myself enough to do this? Or maybe I am just lazy?
So if this is me before kids:

How do I get back here?

1. No more soda. I don't care how much I want it.
2. 20 minutes of activity a day. It cant be that hard to fit in. I'm worth it.
3. Take a picture of what it is that I'm eating. AND POST IT HERE SO THAT YOU SEE IT TOO. Maybe I can make myself eat better?

I don't know what else. Ideas?

I weigh 205 today.
I want to weigh 202 this time next week.